Water Please

Some time ago I went to lunch at a pub on the outskirts of Melbourne.  I had been there a few times before for a drink but this time I decided I would have a meal as well .

After getting the usual “oh” in response to the question “table for two?”  , “no just one thanks”,  I was shown to a table by a perfect young waitress with a European accent.

We smiled to each other as we played the given roles of customer and waitress,  all politeness and pleasant behavior as she showed me to my table but at this point all I could think of was if I’d seen PYW (perfect young waitress ) for the first time in her little blue Mazda with her fresh new red P Plate in traffic I’d have immediately assumed another self obsessed teenager thinking they knew it all.

No doubt she was probably a student working her way around Australia.  It was obvious that this PYW had paid very close attention to her hospitality classes as she brought the obligatory bottle of water and poured it out into the glass with one arm held deftly behind her back, full of smiles and good intent.

I’m supplied with the menu, a piece of photocopied paper,  ( hmm. not expense spared here ! )  listing the gastronomic delights awaiting me.   Before I could read it PYW proceeded to tell me the day’s special..It took her two minutes to explain the dish.  All I got was that it was barramundi fish with zucchini but she did such a great job and it was clear that she had spent some time memorizing it that I ordered there and then.    PYW smiled sweetly and in her soft European accent announced that my choice was ‘perfict’.  She gathered up my un-read menu and trotted off to the kitchen.

I sat looking around the pub  waiting for my glass of wine, drinking my water, admiring the decor.

PYW returned, smiling, to top up my water.

My glass of wine arrived.

PYW returned, smiling, to top up my water.

I sent a few text messages.

PYW returned, smiling, to top up my water.

I checked my e-mails.

PYW returned, smiling, to top up my water.

This was becoming a challenge…Finish my glass of water before PYW noticed it was empty.  Game on girlfriend !!!!

There was a sign that said free WiFi but I couldn’t see where the password was so I approached a well endowed women behind the bar who was looking over some paperwork. “excuse me, do you know the password for the free wifi ? ” I asked politely.  ‘Na, don’t have a clue “.  I was rather taken aback by her reply and so looked at PYW for a better reply.  The well endowed one quickly responded.  “She has no clue either “.  “Oh”  I replied, thinking that her next move would be to ask someone else but, no, she just dropped her head back to her paperwork.  “Well thanks for nothing ya rude cow…!!!!!  ” was what I said in my head.  Instead I just turned and meekly returned to my seat to await my meal.

PYW returned, smiling, to top up my water.

The barrumundi arrived and I was right, there was zucchini, along with roma tomatoes, rocket salad and slices of anchovies which I’ve never really liked in the past but found the meal to be quiet delightful.  PYW did well !!!.  Large cloves of garlic swam around the juicy black olives but I avoided eating them knowing that I will be at my sewing group tomorrow and I didn’t want to smell like the sweaty greek guy at the gym.

PYW returned, smiling, to top up my water.

“Vould you like to see the dissert menu madam ? ” she asked.

I settled on the mandarin sorbet and chocolate something.

“perfict” says PYW and she trotted off to the kitchen.

PYW soon returned with my ‘dissert’  and once again served with one arm held deftly behind her back.    Hmmmm I thought what else can she do with one arm tied behind her back ?  Maybe she works as a street performer at Southbank on the weekends.

The sorbet looked a delight and so pretty with two little purple flowers on top.  But wait !! Are you meant to eat them or not ??

If I do eat them and you’re not meant to I’ll look like an idiot, but if I don’t eat them and I’m meant to then I will look like a snob…Oh the pressure…!!!!’

PYW returned, smiling, to top up my water.

I ate one and left the other.

Soon it was time to go. I paid my bill and turned to say thank you and goodbye to PYW but she was busy smiling and topping up someone else’s water.

As for the water challenge,  well lets just say I was glad it wasn’t a long drive home.

Stay Posted….  love L


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